RoboCop 2014 starts with a scene in the occupied Tehran, in which the cultured, refined, and gentle white Americans are “PACIFYING” savage Iranians with their machines, robots, and advanced weapons, and “blow peace and freedom abroad.”

Tehran Skyline

We see Iranian civilians standing in lines to be checked (read pacified), or getting their aases and puussies checked with x-ray by American robots. Ironically, Iranians of the capital city of Iran are wearing clothing typical of Arabs living particularly in villages and small towns of, say, Iraq or Yemen_ but of course who cares; they are all brown towel-head niiggers. Then, in an interior shot, we see a teenager seeming extremely hysteric looking out of the windows. Then we see his worried mother sitting on a bed, protecting her 2 shy small daughters (as if her aass is glued to the bed she is sitting on). Thankfully she is not wearing a scarf inside her home _at least now Americans know a little bit about Islamic culture from Call of Duty video games!) Then another hysteric Iranian; supposedly the father of the family rushes in and orders the boy and the woman to sit still. Then we have the man and his fellow terrorists fastening their suicide vests to jump on “pacifying” machines while screaming “Ya Ali!” Seeing his father vaporizing into thin air, the teenager can’t take it anymore and rushes out holding a kitchen knife while we hear his mother screaming after him “Oh my god! Khak too saram!” (Mr. Padilha didn’t even bother to ask his ex-patriot Iranian actors living in good old America _or I don’t know where_ to speak decent Persian!), just to be, again, “pacified” into thin air by another American machine. Then finally we cut back to a TV studio in “the greatest country on the face of the earth” and hear the host praising the sacrifice of good Americans in “pacifying” Iranian beasts, and claiming that with the advanced robots there is no need for any human sacrifice in these battlefields.

Tehran Check Line

X-ray Aass Check

Iranian Woman Wearing Arabic Clothing

Alright, now let’s jump to the shot when Murphy and his black pal Lewis are in thick of battle against a gang of criminals in America, and his friend gets shot. Then we can see the robot factory is looking for a good amputated candidate to install into a robot to sell to the highly potentially profitable market of American law enforcement forces. “Oh, maybe for the first time the RoboCop is going to be an African American! Maybe it is Murphy’s black colleague who has just got shot!” But, of course not, how stupid of me to think like that; who would like to watch a black hero on the silver screen! It must be nobody but the white, light-haired, good-looking, tall, hot Alex Murphey! And his hot blond white wife to support him _because we all know women can never be heroes, they can only keep heroes company.

Black Cop Down

RoboCop 2014 goes on to say that using robots to enforce the law is not logical because they cannot feel “how it is to be human,” they do not understand sacrifice, emotional bonds, and cannot differentiate between threats and just minor threats. That’s why the robot act is at last overruled by the Senate, as the TV host declares it hysterically, while also adding that using these robots may also be banned to fight on foreign frontiers (possibly because we watched an angry Iranian teenager holding a kitchen knife got vaporized.)  As if it makes a difference in the nature of “pacifying” Iranians. In the end, we hear the praise of “America is now and will always be the greatest country on the face of the earth” and stars and striped while the screen fades to black. This where Jóse makes his declaration that he is not Brazilian anymore, he is a proud, brave American.

Trashy RoboCop 2014

OK, Mr. Padilha, at least you could use resources other than video games to make research on Iranians and people of the Middle East for your RoboCop 2014. Or you could ask your Iranian actors to speak Persian with Iranian accent, not with American, Afghan, or Arabic accent. But yes, who cares, it’s just for realistic effects, supposedly nobody but brave Americans were going to see it. And you know what, it’s just like manufactured fruit juice, it only has to taste realistic! Who cares what kind of bestial language do Iranians speak, or what kind of barbarian clothing do they wear! You could not even understand that if one day a foreigner dares to attack Iran, for Iranians it is not going to be a religious war to scream “Ya Ali!” while jumping on robots, it is going to be patriotic war. Finally, even if you claim you were making this film to make a declaration against inadvertent mass-killing weapons, yet again you didn’t argue with “PACIFYING” Iranians who live on the other side of the planet who for some reason are threats to American citizen’s safety!

But at least, Jóse, you can rest assured that brave, proud, red white and blue Americans are going to accept you as new “gringo,” after shooting that colorful ending scene.

Red White & Blue

P.S. Up yours for ruining my favorite childhood film!!!